a porchtime thought.

It's not the delicate smoky tail
nor the evaporation of my fingertips
it's just that herewithin, 
is silence.

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My parents worry that traveling by oneself is too lonely an endeavor. It is, indisputably, lonely. However, it is not the panging loneliness of being alone, but the quietness of being with yourself. A friend of mine in the Peace Corps would say that loneliness, to volunteers, becomes a normal state of being, and that this is not always a bad thing. It requires that such feeling exist on multiple levels, and the good kind is the friendly loneliness, a comfort in one's own skin that requires only occasional companionship. I look forward to being home in Maryland and the noisiness of a family, but it will require some adjustment. People that love you simply for existing is a comfort in of itself - and being surrounded them a near-luxury. When I am there, it will be good to look back on this time and remember that the only person I really need to take care of is me.

Vietnam was a whirl of pointy hats, museums and incredulity that a country is able rebound after catastrophe in such a relatively short time. I now find myself wandering around Cambodia with its twisting streets and thrilling architecture. The people, like in the Philippines, are absurdly friendly but have managed to hold on tight to a unique and opulent culture all their own. Tomorrow I will visit Angkor Wat at sunrise - perhaps the most touristy experience in the vicinity, but one that I have been looking forward to. Next: A full month in Thailand.

I miss the Peace Corps and the Philippines, but my mother thinks I am just mourning my youth. There is more than one degree of truth to that. I am not sure exactly what it is that I am sad to have left, but working hard for something that you believe in can be addicting and I'm not sure how soon I'll find that for myself again.

On the other hand, I object to calling these two months the "trip of a lifetime" as more than one individual has. Hopefully, there will be many trips in my future and backpacking at twenty-five will not be my culminating attempt at experiencing the world. Graduate school and a career seem a means to do this in the future, not a step towards never wandering again. I am too interested in the world to limit my interaction with it.

On a sidenote: the corner nook of southeast asia is surprisingly accustomed to and accommodating towards foreigners. The backpacker loop, it perhaps could be called. Travel works like clockwork and the clothes, bags and jewelry sold is geared towards the foreign taste rather than that of the locale. No nook I find seems surprised to see me, and no individual has taken the time out of their day to gape. More rural areas off the common trek may be different, but this has been my experience thus far.