Today is my last day as a Peace Corps volunteer, and I don't really know what to do with myself.
Applying to jobs sounds terrifying. When I envision going home, I imagine a big warm comforter and lots of sleep - I choose to delete the sound of my mother prepping me for job interviews. I'm still not totally convinced that I won't be back at site next week, killing roaches and painting buildings.
Actually next week I'll be in Vietnam for a few months of southeast Asia travel. It would be nice to head for a continent that doesn't look like a cousin of the Philippines, but I only own one pair of close-toed shoes and absolutely no long sleeves.
Leaving site was surreal. My despidida was a lot of fun and felt far more like a birthday party than anything else. I kept having to return to school at varied insistence, but at my final departure all of my teachers cried and my students followed me home.
Fourteen students cleaned my house, scrubbing my floor and saying it was just ordinary for them.
Four students slept over. I woke up in the middle of the night and, in true Pinoy fashion, one of the girls was tucked in snugly next to me in bed.
I feel good about Peace Corps. I have acquired an entirely new set of skills, become even more independent than I thought possible, figured out what direction I would like my future career to take, faced loneliness on a daily basis and integrated into a community that I wasn't sure would ever feel like home.
My nine-year old neighbor slept over on my final night after her mom and I made ourselves silly with coconut wine.
It feels good to be done and moving on to more selfish, me-focused things. As my dad said, when I briefly entertained the idea of moving to Korea next, "Julie, don't you just want to be comfortable?"
Well, yes. After a year in China and more than two in the Philippines, I am ready to be an American in America once again. Comfortable sounds just great.
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